A hiring manager and a human resources person are discussing candidates for several open positions.
HM: I’m thinking about assembling a work team, and these are the guys I want to bring on board. I’ve already spoken to each one, and I know I’ve got a winning team here.
HR: Well, let’s take a look at your shortlist.
HM: The first one is a fellow named Peter.
HR: I see…hmm…according to the results of his preliminary screening, he’s rather impulsive. Tends to shoot off his mouth a bit, acts impetuously—
HM: Yes, I realize that. But I’ll turn him into a leader.
HR: Furthermore, he simply doesn’t have the right experience. He’s a fisherman, for crying out loud. He doesn’t dress for success. And he’s fickle to boot.
HM: Nevertheless, I want him.
HR: Er…moving right along…I see you have some other fishermen on your list as well—a James and a John. Brothers, apparently. Highly inappropriate. For one thing, their resumes lack all the proper keywords. Less than a five percent match—significantly less, I might add. But of greater concern is their unbridled ambition. Just the other day I overheard them arguing over who was going to climb to the top of the corporate ladder.
HM: Listen, I realize my candidates are less than perfect, but I assure you I will train them. As a matter of fact, I have a three-year training program I’m going to put them through.
HR: We’re not looking for candidates with mere potential. We want a team that can hit the ground running! Three years is simply too much time to invest in training, WAY too much time. You have no clue about what the best practices are regarding the hiring process. You really ought to let a human resources professional vet and select your candidates for you, rather than coming up with all these poor-fit suggestions.
HM: But I daresay I know a thing or two about human nature.
HR: Well, I beg to differ. Just look at the results of the background checks of these characters on your shortlist. One is a tax collector, another is a notorious thief who would just as soon sell his grandmother. A third one is a political radical, and a fourth has severe problems with insecurity. Such a motley crew. We’d never get the green light from legal on these candidates, frankly.
HM: So you’re declining to take the next step with the candidates on my shortlist?
HR: There is absolutely NO WAY I’d agree to any of these.
HM: I guess it looks like you leave me no choice but to pull rank and go over your head. I know the CEO is on board with my decision.
HR: Go ahead and hire them if you want to, but you’ll regret it—mark my words.
HM: Somehow I rather doubt it. I know what I’m doing.
He who has ears to hear, let him hear…