A Hiring Parable

A hiring manager and a human resources person are discussing candidates for several open positions.

HM: I’m thinking about assembling a work team, and these are the guys I want to bring on board. I’ve already spoken to each one, and I know I’ve got a winning team here.

HR: Well, let’s take a look at your shortlist.

HM: The first one is a fellow named Peter.

HR: I see…hmm…according to the results of his preliminary screening, he’s rather impulsive. Tends to shoot off his mouth a bit, acts impetuously—

HM: Yes, I realize that. But I’ll turn him into a leader.

HR: Furthermore, he simply doesn’t have the right experience. He’s a fisherman, for crying out loud. He doesn’t dress for success. And he’s fickle to boot.

HM: Nevertheless, I want him.

HR: Er…moving right along…I see you have some other fishermen on your list as well—a James and a John. Brothers, apparently. Highly inappropriate. For one thing, their resumes lack all the proper keywords. Less than a five percent match—significantly less, I might add. But of greater concern is their unbridled ambition. Just the other day I overheard them arguing over who was going to climb to the top of the corporate ladder.

HM: Listen, I realize my candidates are less than perfect, but I assure you I will train them. As a matter of fact, I have a three-year training program I’m going to put them through.

HR: We’re not looking for candidates with mere potential. We want a team that can hit the ground running! Three years is simply too much time to invest in training, WAY too much time. You have no clue about what the best practices are regarding the hiring process. You really ought to let a human resources professional vet and select your candidates for you, rather than coming up with all these poor-fit suggestions.

HM: But I daresay I know a thing or two about human nature.

HR: Well, I beg to differ. Just look at the results of the background checks of these characters on your shortlist. One is a tax collector, another is a notorious thief who would just as soon sell his grandmother. A third one is a political radical, and a fourth has severe problems with insecurity. Such a motley crew. We’d never get the green light from legal on these candidates, frankly.

HM: So you’re declining to take the next step with the candidates on my shortlist?

HR: There is absolutely NO WAY I’d agree to any of these.

HM: I guess it looks like you leave me no choice but to pull rank and go over your head. I know the CEO is on board with my decision.

HR: Go ahead and hire them if you want to, but you’ll regret it—mark my words.

HM: Somehow I rather doubt it. I know what I’m doing.

He who has ears to hear, let him hear…

What Ruins Photography Tell Us about Relationships

The other day I was poking around on the Internet looking at what is sometimes called “ruin p*rn”—photographs of houses, buildings, amusement parks, and other man-made structures that have been abandoned and left to the elements. Some are well known, like Pripyat (Chernobyl) and parts of Detroit (Michigan Central Station), while others are well known only to those that know them well, like Okpo and Nara Dreamland.

Neglect Leads to Crumbling Structures

Is your relationship in ruins?

Is your relationship in ruins?

I find these ruins photos fascinating. These modern ghost towns speak to me not only as a remembrance of things past, but as a cautionary tale, a glimpse into a possible future. All these places were once bustling hubs of human activity, full of life and everyday drama. No one would have imagined weeds overtaking the lane where lovers once laughed as they strolled arm in arm. No one would have imagined a playground once echoing with the giggles and shrieks of boisterous children would one day have as its only sound rusty swings creaking as they sway in the moaning wind. Abandoned schools, once established to ensure civilization’s march of progress would continue with the next generation, now mock that progress with their peeling paint, broken windows, and crumbling walls.

It is characteristic of man’s hubris to suppose that his works, his monuments, his achievements will endure even long after he himself has returned to dust. The Caesars undoubtedly did not foresee the day when their far-flung empire would succumb and crumble to the barbaric hordes they had once conquered. We tend to think that past performance is indicative of future results, forgetting to take into account the most significant of all variables, the factor of human behavior.

The works of man are not only built up by man, they are brought down by him as well—often through neglect

More often than not, these works of man are not only built up by man, but they are brought down by him as well—not so much through cataclysmic and open destruction as one might suppose, but generally through a more subtle yet ultimately more insidious means—neglect. Properties that are cared for, structures that are maintained do not go to rack and ruin, even though they may be subject to intense use. It’s not the use, or even the abuse that causes these buildings to decay as much as it is the non-use.

In cases like Pripyat, a conscious decision is made to abandon. The beginning of neglect can be traced back to a specific point in time. The land becomes toxic, unsuitable for human habitation. In other cases, the place becomes inextricably linked with some tragedy, some horrific event, and people shy away, fleeing not only bad memories but also the taint of psychic contamination, as though tragedy will seek to destroy any and all who claim some physical connection to the land.

Relationships don't go to seed overnight.

Relationships don’t go to seed overnight.

Sometimes, though, circumstances change and people simply move on. The ghost towns of the American West bear testimony to this phenomenon, as the inhabitants packed up and left when the gold and silver ran out. A similar situation arose again in the 1930s as people living in the Dust Bowl had little choice but to leave what little they possessed and migrate to someplace more hospitable.

Regardless of the precipitating factor, this scenario plays out in the same manner: people leave, and nature takes over. Wind, rain, and sun do their thing to break down the structures, while weeds choke out any cultivation, ensuring the return of the wild, primitive state. Little by little, the traces of mankind are erased as nature reasserts its dominance in shockingly short order.

Neglect Leads to Crumbling Relationships

In layman’s terms, the Law of Entropy states if you don’t take care of your stuff, it will get ruined.

There is a greater principle at work here, sometimes called the Law of Entropy—a closed system goes from a high state of order to a high state of disorder. Energy from an external source must be introduced to the system to counteract the effects of degeneration. In layman’s terms, if you don’t take care of your stuff, if you neglect your stuff, it will get ruined. We can easily see how this is true with abandoned buildings, but we often fail to see this applies to human interactions as well. Enduring relationships don’t just happen, but rather are the result of effort and diligence. A relationship cannot thrive under neglect. Sometimes relationships must be abandoned because they are toxic, but more commonly they deteriorate gradually, victims of neglect rather than outright abuse or destruction. The antithesis of love is not hate as some suppose, but rather indifference. Unless a couple takes the time and effort to cultivate their relationship, it will surely wither from neglect, being damaged by adversity and/or choked by self-centeredness.

Neglect Leads to Crumbling Societies

Society must also be preserved against decay.

Society must also be preserved against decay.

The metaphor extends beyond the personal to society as a whole. Society, too, must take care that it does not succumb to indifference and neglect. For what is society but human relationships on a grand scale? A society that does not cultivate its morals, its ethics quickly finds itself sinking into a morass of callousness and barbarism. Neglect of societal values, shortsightedly labeling them “old fashioned,” “extremist,” or “intolerant,” ensures that that society will decay, rotting from the inside out. With minimal scrutiny, the society may appear sound, but closer examination reveals the damaged foundations, the moral rot that ultimately will cause the entire society to implode.

All these things run through my mind as I look at ruin p*rn. Will we let moral rot and decay take over civilization? Or will we wake up and preserve what remains? Have we neglected things to such a degree that rehabilitation is no longer possible? If so, we will have to raze the whole structure and start over from scratch, rising from the ashes like a phoenix.

Integrity: What Do You Do When Nobody’s Looking?

Integrity will keep you from making stupid decisions which you will later regret.

Integrity will keep you from making stupid decisions which you will later regret.

It’s been said that integrity is how you conduct yourself when no one is looking. In other words, part of being an upstanding person is doing right because you know it’s the proper thing to do, and not because somebody is watching you, or you’re afraid of getting caught. An individual who has integrity is a person who can be trusted to behave honorably and not bring shame upon himself or others by engaging in unethical or immoral activities.

Lack of Integrity: The Symptoms

Most people have enough of a conscience to do right if they know that their actions will be scrutinized. But how many will cut corners, how many will cheat if they think they can get away with it? Such people are wholly lacking in integrity. They are not trustworthy, because you are never certain if they are telling you the truth or trying to pull a fast one. People who lack integrity do not like it when the searchlight exposes them. It makes them uncomfortable, and they complain or try to shift the blame away from themselves. Like a stuck pig, they will squeal if you dare to hold them accountable for their misdeeds.

Lack of integrity may manifest itself in any number of ways: lying, making promises that can’t be kept, breaking vows, and being two-faced are among the most common, unfortunately. Cheating is another indication of a lack of integrity, and it is this manifestation I want to focus on here. Someone who cheats is a sneak. He never imagines he will be found out, and when he inevitably does get caught, he always seeks to justify his cheating: he deserves the award, it’s not fair that others have an advantage over him, it’s not his fault he can’t win without cheating, he’s only trying to get what he deems rightfully his, and so on. A cheater thinks his case is special, and hence the rules may be bent or broken to his benefit.

Cheating: The Consequences

But cheating is never justified. No system will ever be completely or perfectly fair, if for no other reason than it is implemented by fallible human beings. Two wrongs never make a right, and cheating, rather than compensating for any unfairness, only perpetuates the inequity: it is not fair to those who do not cheat, who play by the rules. A victory won by cheating is not a true victory; it is a tainted victory, a victory stolen from the honest and bestowed upon the dishonest. It is the epitome of injustice.

That’s what is disturbing about the Jackie Robinson West incident. The adults in charge of the team were wholly lacking in integrity, and their cheating brought shame upon not only themselves, but upon the children on the team, children who had nothing to do with the decision to cheat. The kids may have been innocent, but their victory is not: it is stained with dishonor, thanks to the unethical actions of the adults. The kids were let down by the very people who were supposed to guide them and be their role models.

Nor were the teammates of Jackie Robinson West the only victims of the adults’ lack of integrity—the teams who played fair and square had a legitimate victory stolen from them. The Las Vegas team, Mountain Ridge Little League, should have received the honors and accolades that come with making such a notable achievement. Where is their trip to Disneyland, their visit to the White House? They’ve been denied their fifteen minutes of fame.

Cheating: A Serious Problem

Some people might be tempted to say, “Well, what’s the big deal? It’s just a kids’ baseball game. So what?” Such a response, however, betrays a profound ignorance of the real issues at stake. Maybe baseball in and of itself is not such a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But the rest is.

Integrity is a big deal.

Honesty is a big deal.

Unfairness is a big deal.

Defrauding innocent people is a big deal.

Being an ethical role model is a big deal.

That’s the shame about the Jackie Robinson West cheating scandal. And the adults should have known better.

Investing Your Time Wisely

gold bars

Your time – more precious than gold

Many of us lead busy lives. We feel like there is so much to do, and consequently it’s easy to believe that there just isn’t enough time for us to do all the things we’d like to do, or need to do. The hard reality is that everybody has the same amount of time—24 hours a day. That’s 1,440 minutes, or 86,400 seconds every day. Some use this time to accomplish great things, while others just drift along and at the end of the day, they haven’t achieved anything except marking another X on their calendar. It’s not necessarily a question of being extremely organized (although that could help), nor is it a question of talent (although that doesn’t hurt, either).

Time is a gift – what will you do with it?

It is, however, important to recognize that time is a gift. For better or for worse, yesterday is a done deal, and none of us are guaranteed tomorrow—all we’ve got available is today. Consequently, we must ask ourselves: What will we do with the time we’ve been allotted? Will we fill our time with worthwhile pursuits, or will we fritter it away? Time is a valuable gift. And how we spend it makes all the difference in the world.

Do we sit down from time to time and ask ourselves if we are spending our time wisely? Whether we spend it wisely or not, it is gone forever. There is no recourse for getting back lost time. Are we spending our time on worthwhile or frivolous things? Will we have regrets at the end of the day, wishing we had done something else? When we reach the end of our lives, however long we have on this earth, will we have left this world a better place, or will we look back and say, “I wish I hadn’t spent so much time on ________”?

Of course, this question hinges on what we mean by “worthwhile.” How do you determine what is “worthwhile”? I believe an excellent way to frame the issue is to ask ourselves the following questions:

What is your treasure?

What is your treasure?

What gives my life meaning?

What do you truly treasure? Think of time as an investment—how do you invest your time? That which gives your life meaning is where you will spend your time, and it is by your time investment that other people will be able to determine what your “treasure” is. Outside of customary obligations (work, school, etc.), you will spend more time with your “treasure” than with anything else. For example, given a choice between spending time with your family and spending time at the golf course, what would you choose? Where is your treasure?

Is my focus inward or outward?

Is your time spent on “me, mine” and other selfish pursuits? Or is it spent in serving others, being a blessing to them, influencing them for the better, having a positive impact on them? Are your actions centered around building yourself up, or edifying others? Do you find plenty of time to veg out in front of the TV, but somehow you can’t set aside any time to help someone else? It doesn’t have to a big, sacrificial task—something simple, like a smile or kind word or even a note of encouragement, can brighten another person’s day.

How often do you take time out for personal growth and development?

How often do you take time out for personal growth and development?

Am I taken up by mindless escapism, or do I seek to improve myself?

Do you let your mind and soul feast on intellectual and spiritual junk food, or do you spend your time pursuing enrichment through personal growth and development? Which will make an impression on your life: some forgettable pulp fiction, or timeless literature? At the end of the day, will you really be a better person for having played Candy Crush and Farmville for hours on end?

We only have so much time available to us, no more and no less. Time cannot be saved or hoarded, only spent—the chief question is how: Will we spend it wisely, or squander it? If you want to leave a legacy that will last long after you’re gone, then, seek to make every minute count. Invest your time in that which is worthwhile, and make the most of it.

Discipline: Don’t Leave Home Without It

Do you aspire to be successful? Most people do, regardless of their specific dreams or desires. It doesn’t matter how you define “success”—you know that it’s something you want. Everybody does.

But if success is something most people want, why are there relatively few who seem to attain it? What is stopping so many from achieving success? What are they missing?

In other words, what is a key component of success?

Discipline.

You need discipline if you want to get anything done.

You need discipline if you want to achieve something.

Achieve mastery through discipline ~

Achieve mastery through discipline ~

Great leaders—inventors, innovators, creators, athletes—achieve their successes through discipline. Thomas Edison’s light bulb was birthed through discipline. The Sistine Chapel would have just a bare ceiling were it not for the patient discipline of Michelangelo. Mark Spitz would not have seven Olympic gold medals to his name were it not for discipline.

What is discipline?

Thanks in part to medieval religious practices, we tend to think of discipline in negative terms, often equating it to “punishment.” However, discipline’s etymology paints a much more positive picture. The word “discipline” comes from the Latin disciplina (teaching, instruction, learning, knowledge), which in turn comes from discipulus—a word we recognize as “disciple,” someone who sits at the feet of his master and learns, drinking deeply from the master’s vast store of knowledge and accumulated life experiences. Indeed, rather than a punitive aspect, discipline is concerned instead with correction and training. It is the cultivation of character: breaking bad habits and instilling good ones, followed by training so the good habits become second nature. Admittedly, discipline is not always fun, but it is always rewarding.

chaos

Without discipline, there is chaos ~

Discipline is crucial.

An undisciplined life is characterized by chaos and disorder, laziness and a lack of direction. You will drift through life, carried about by the winds of circumstance and feelings. You’re no longer in the driver’s seat, so you feel helpless as you watch things spin out of control. A lack of discipline is a hindrance on your path to success, a burden that will weigh you down and prevent you from achieving your goals. Discipline allows you to harness the circumstances of life and use them as stepping stones rather than millstones.

Although discipline is necessary, the good news is that it can be learned. It can be cultivated. The habit of discipline can be exercised and strengthened, growing as it takes root in your life. Anyone can acquire it—it is not limited to a select few. But you have to be willing to pay the price. You have to dedicate yourself to your goal. It cannot be a half-hearted dedication. You have to make up your mind, and, having done so, not look back. He who wishes to be a disciple must be single minded. He must focus his energies on the tasks before him, if he wishes to achieve his goal. Half-hearted, double-minded disciples simply do not make the cut. Without focus, you are doomed to fail.

Discipline is training ~

Discipline is training ~

Discipline is the key to becoming a master.

You cannot become a master without first going through an apprenticeship, without going through discipleship. A disciple who lacks discipline is no disciple, but rather a wannabe, one who is bound to quit when the going gets rough. Difficult times will come, temptations will arise—and those who have made discipline their habit will be the ones who survive. Discipline is what keeps you going when you feel like giving up or giving in. Discipline keeps you in your routine when you’re contemplating making an exception “just this once.” Discipline is what enables you to react in a split second when seconds count.

Discipline is indispensable.

It is one of the habits of success. Cultivate it, and it will be a faithful friend. Ignore it, and you will spend your days thinking “woulda, coulda, shoulda.”

Discipline is yours for the asking.

What Do You Do When You Lack Motivation?

What do you do when you have no motivation?

What do you do when you have no motivation?

Motivation is a magical thing. It is necessary for anything you wish to accomplish. Yet there are undeniably times when your motivation falls far short of what you know it should be.

What on earth do you do when you lack motivation?

Can it be recaptured or rekindled?

Consider some of the situations that could result in a lack of motivation. For example, perhaps you are “mismatched” to begin with. By that, I mean that maybe you are trying to pursue something that simply is not meant to be. Are you wasting time and energy by expending effort on something you need not do, or something that in fact would be of no benefit to you?

For this reason, it may be instructive to listen to the opinions of friends or family. Loved ones often know us better than we give them credit for, and sometimes they are able to see a particular situation more clearly and more honestly than we can—since they are more removed from the situation than we are, their perspective enables them to consider a broader scope. Their insight can be invaluable, and we could save ourselves a lot of grief if we would just take their advice to heart.

Let’s assume, however, that it is not a case of the wrong person for the wrong job. You have something that you must do but you haven’t the will to do it, or you have some activities that you formerly enjoyed but now have become a chore to you. You’ve lost whatever motivation you had.

How can you get it back?

The key to understanding your lack of motivation lies in the answer to the question: Why?

Why is your motivation lacking?

What has changed?

Are you feeling overwhelmed?

Do you feel overwhelmed?

Do you feel overwhelmed?

The task may be more involved than you initially thought, or you may have come to the realization that you’ve bitten off more than you can chew. The task looms over you like a gigantic weight threatening to crush you, and you’re feeling the stress.

Is there something that can be delegated?—Maybe you can enlist someone to share the burden with you. Perhaps you can think of someone who is better suited to some particular aspect of your task.

Can the task be broken up into smaller ones?—Sometimes an activity is best handled as a series of component ones. It’s easier to focus on taking the next step than it is to focus on taking 45,000 steps to complete a marathon. As the old riddle goes: How do you eat an elephant?—One bite at a time.

Do you need to modify your original goals?—People change, circumstances change—and your goals and plans probably need to change along with them. Consistency is good, but not to the point of rigidity. Being flexible enough to adapt to changing conditions will reduce the stress levels and help you to get back in control.

Are you weary of long, hard toil with little to show for it?

Are you caught in a endless loop?

Are you caught in a endless loop?

You feel like a hamster on an exercise wheel, with plenty of activity but no real accomplishments. Maybe it’s time to take a break, a pause that refreshes. A break will give you some mental space to assess your situation. Maybe you could combine or consolidate tasks, giving you greater efficiency.

You may be physically tired.—Being worn out and rundown puts you in a precarious situation, as you then have a greater likelihood of coming down with illness, disease, or some other condition. Good sleep, adequate nutrition, and regular exercise will help you regain your energy and restore your balance.

You may be mentally tired.Mental or psychological fatigue is more pernicious, since it often masquerades as physical fatigue. Weariness of the soul, however, cannot be remedied with physical rest. Are there psychological sinks in your life—things, people, habits, or pastimes that drain you of your mental energy? In particular, you may encounter people who are psychic leeches, sucking you of your energy. Rather than uplifting you, they make you feel drained. If possible, limit your contact with such folk. Better yet, try to get them involved in a project of their own, which will have the natural effect of getting them out of your hair without hurting their feelings.

Do you feel frustrated?

Are you frustrated?

Do you feel like you’re swimming upstream?

You might feel as though you’re swimming upstream, against the current.  Not having the support of family and friends will certainly dampen your enthusiasm. Many times such opposition is latent, lurking beneath the surface. If you’re not expecting it, it may take you a while before you realize what’s going on and can deal with it for what it is.  Reach out to others in your network to get the support you need.

Other times, though, the antagonism may be more obvious. You may have people who are actively working against you. They may be trying to thwart you, sabotaging all your efforts. Perhaps they may harbor jealousy, envy, resentment, or animosity towards you, and consequently they have no desire to see you succeed. Being aware of the situation is generally the first and best line of defense. Channel your frustration and anger positively, and use that energy to prove them wrong. Success is the best revenge.

Do you think the task or activity pointless?

Have you lost sight of your original motivation?

Have you lost sight of your original motivation?

Maybe it’s become meaningless to you. You’ve lost sight of why you’re doing it. Having a reminder of your goal, of how it fits in to the big picture may be sufficient to bring back meaning and purpose.  Something as simple as a photo or a personal affirmation could help you fix your eyes on the prize when you find your motivation flagging.

Think about your original motivation.Has it changed without your realizing it? Why? If your motivation has changed, it may be that your goals or priorities will have to change as well. Conversely, if your priorities or goals have changed, you’ll probably have to modify your motivation to keep it in tune with your new definition of success.

Lack of motivation is a serious problem, but the good news is that acknowledgement of the situation then puts you in a position to do something about it. Take the time to pinpoint the cause by asking the questions above.  Once you’ve done that, you should be able to come up with your own unique fix to your lack of motivation.

Have you struggled with lack of motivation? How did you overcome it?

Share your story in the comments below!

What Motivates YOU?

What motivates you?  What gets you going?

What gets you going?

Have you really thought about what motivates you?  What makes you tick? What really trips your trigger?

Of course, it depends on what we’re talking about here. What motivates you to go to your job each day is probably not the same as what motivates you to mow the lawn for your elderly neighbor. So, pick a particular task or activity and ask yourself the following questions:

Why am I doing this?

Ostensibly, the answer to this question will indicate what motivates you, but as we have seen previously, this alone won’t give you a complete picture. This only scratches the surface, so you are going to have to delve deeper if you want to get beyond the superficial.

What would happen as a result?

Think about cause and effect.

  • Would doing this allow me to perform or engage in some other task or activity?
  • Is it a necessary step in a longer, more complex process?

Conversely, you might ask yourself:

What would happen if I don’t do this?

Sins of omission can cause just as much trouble as sins of commission.

  • Have I given my word?  Have I made a promise to someone?
  • Is there anyone depending on me?
  • Are there penalties or negative consequences if I fail to do this?
What good things could I expect?

What good things could I expect?

How does it benefit me?

The benefits may be tangible or intangible.

  • What good things could I expect out of this?
  • How would it help me, make things easier, improve my quality of life?

How does it benefit others?

What you do will affect others as well – it’s a question of how, not if.

  • How does it help my family, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, co-workers, strangers?
  • How does it improve their lives, or ameliorate their pain?
  • Would they appreciate what I do?
  • Would others suffer in some way if I fail to do this?
  • Would they miss out on something?
Would I have the satisfaction of completing a challenge?

Would I have the satisfaction of completing a challenge?

How will I feel as a result?

Understanding emotions can provide powerful insight into motives.

  • Would I have the satisfaction of a job well done, of completing a challenge, of brightening someone’s day?
  • Would I have a feeling of accomplishment? A sense of relief?
  • Would I be able to look back and say, “It was tough, but worth it”?
  • Would I feel legitimately proud of myself?
  • Would I feel arrogant? Superior? Inferior? Cocky, smug, self-assured?

Conversely:

How would I feel if I didn’t do this?

The yang to the above question.

  • Would I feel like I had let myself or someone else down?
  • Would I feel ashamed?

Determining motivation is a complex, highly individual process which deserves careful thought.  Contemplating the above questions and answering them honestly and sincerely will go a long way towards helping you to ferret out what your motive is.

What motivates you?

Share in the comments below!

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“I’d like a bottle of Motivation, please~”

What puts that spark in your eye? Motivation!

What puts that spark in your eye? – Motivation!

Do you find yourself lacking motivation?

Do you wish you could just go to your favorite superstore and pick up an economy-size bottle of motivation?

Ah, if only it were that easy. If only motivation were something that could be bottled and sold. Whoever could pull that off would be rich!

Unfortunately, it’s a little more complicated than that.

I’d like to explore with you the topic of motivation. But before we can answer the question about how to get motivation, we have to take a step back and ask a more fundamental question:

What is motivation?

Basically, motivation is the reason for a given behavior or course of action. But this is a bit simplistic, as the concept of motivation is much broader than a mere cause-and-effect phenomenon. Properly speaking, motivation is restricted to human beings in its application, so that is what I shall consider here.

Motivation involves a reason for doing something, but it is much more than justification for one’s actions.

Motivation involves a reason for doing something, but it is much more than justification for one’s actions. Consider this: you could no doubt come up with a hundred different reasons why you should eat properly and exercise every day, but unless you have motivation, your gym shoes will stay in the closet, and your cupboard will be filled with junk food snacks.

Watch any reality show, and you’ll see this played out time and again—the morbidly obese woman who cheats on her diet; the hoarder who lives in squalor, adding to his tremendous collection of junk and trash; the teenager who is so engaged in substance abuse that she can only think about her next fix. Intellectually, these people understand that what they are doing is unhealthy and potentially self-destructive, yet no amount of haranguing by loved ones or medical professionals will result in them changing their ways—if the person lacks motivation.

A lack of motivation logically devolves into apathy.

We see, then, that motivation is important. In some cases, it can literally mean the difference between life and death. In any situation, though, a lack of motivation, signaled by a “Why bother?” attitude, logically devolves into apathy: “Who cares? Not I. Just leave me alone!” Once a person has crossed this point, his situation becomes all but impossible. The psychological inertia becomes so overwhelming that the person is locked on a downward spiral, and in most cases nothing short of a miracle can break that spell.

We see, also, that motivation must be internal. It arises from a decision of the individual, and, as such, cannot be imposed upon from the outside. This is why nagging seldom works; if it does, it is not because the nagger’s words were especially pithy or persuasive, but rather because the individual just wanted to get the nagger out of his hair. So even in those instances where it appears that motivation might have been external, in reality the individual merely acted upon an internal desire to ameliorate his own situation.

It can be said that motivation can be either healthy or unhealthy, but these categories are not as clear-cut as you might suppose. For example, fear, greed, pride, and the like may all appear to be examples of unhealthy motivation, whereas success, family, and self-improvement would most likely be considered examples of healthy motivation. But negative emotions like fear can nonetheless provide the basis for healthy motivation: fear of leaving your family unprepared might very well be a healthy motivation if it results in you taking better care of yourself and taking steps to secure your family’s financial future.

Regardless, any type of motivation is better than none, and a lack of motivation should be avoided at all costs.

Thus far, we have said more about what motivation is not than what it is. So: What is motivation?

Motivation is that which keeps you going after the initial excitement of a new endeavor has worn off.

We see this happen time and again with New Year’s resolutions. With the prospect of a new year and a fresh start, many people resolve to make all sorts of positive changes in their lives: lose weight, stop smoking, get out of debt, learn a new language, exercise more, take up a hobby, etc. But a few days or weeks later, the enthusiasm is gone and the resolutions fall by the wayside—unless, of course, you have some sort of motivation.

Motivation is that which keeps you going even when you “don’t feel like it.”

There are times when everything seems blah and even the things you normally enjoy appear to have lost their luster. You’d rather spend an extra hour in bed instead of going out for that five-mile run. You’d just as soon take it easy for a few days, hang out the “Gone Fishin’ ” sign and escape for a while. Motivation helps you to stick to your commitment and push through the “don’t want to”. Motivation is what goads you into action.

Motivation keeps you going when things get tough.

We all have struggles that we must face in life. Sometimes you just find yourself in a difficult situation, whether it be due to circumstances beyond your control, or thanks to your own ignorance, or as the result of those who would wish you ill. Motivation gets you to focus on your goal, reminding you of the promise of reward, the result you can achieve if you endure. It is what enables you to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and overcome those obstacles that life has thrown at you.

Motivation - the drive to do the seemingly impossible

Motivation – the drive to perform the seemingly impossible

Motivation is what stops you from waving the white flag.

Motivation keeps you going despite the odds.

Other times, you’ll be tempted to give up completely. The task seems Sisyphean, the circumstances dire, the situation hopeless. You’d like nothing better than to walk away and let someone else handle it. You’re ready to admit defeat. But motivation is what stops you from waving the white flag. It enables you to ignore the voice of the naysayer whispering defeat in your ear. Motivation is what causes you to keep putting one foot in front of the other as you trek on your seemingly endless journey.

Motivation is like a guiding star that keeps you from straying off course. It lights a fire under you and gets you going, giving you that spark in your eye. It is the fuel without which you’ll find yourself stranded, just as a car that runs out of gas winds up sitting on the shoulder of the highway, unable to make any further progress.

Each of us is unique, with our own particular skill sets and our own particular dreams. The talents and tools that we need to achieve our goals are therefore as varied and unique as we are. But the one thing that we all have in common is the need for motivation. Without motivation, our dreams will be stillborn.

If I have convinced you of the necessity of motivation and got you thinking about what motivation is, then I have accomplished what I set out to do with this post.

“Well and good,” you may protest, “but how do I get motivation?”

That’s a good question! I haven’t mentioned anything about that, because that’s another topic for another day, a question that I shall explore in the near future. Stick around!

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Life Lessons from a Furnace Repairman

baby-its-coldThe other day—in the middle of the night, actually, on one of the coldest days thus far this season, with daytime highs in the single digits and windchills well below zero Fahrenheit—our furnace stopped working. It would fire up and blow unheated air for a minute or so, then quit before things had a chance to warm up. This was most disconcerting, not only because of the frigid weather, but also because the furnace was only a few years old, and there was absolutely no reason why it should malfunction. We went down to the basement and popped open the front panel for inspection, but, being a modern unit, there was very little for a laymen to monkey around with.

I hated to admit it, but there was no way around it: We’d have to call the HVAC guy and have him take a look; that meant it would cost us money. I could certainly come up with a hundred other things I’d rather spend my money on, but with the indoor temperature barely warmer than a walk-in refrigerator, I had little choice. So the call was made, and the repairman was scheduled to come between noon and two. Until then we’d have to tough it out, wrapped up in blankets and huddled around the space heater in the spare room we used as a home office.

Of course, being scheduled to come in a certain window of time and actually doing so are two different things. The kids, as kids are wont to do, failed to grasp this subtlety and took things rather too literally, commenting every five minutes, “It’s after two o’clock—why isn’t the repairman here yet?” Indeed, a good question. But to be fair, at least the dispatcher had called prior to two to inform us that the repairman was on his way, so I guess that counted. If he could have flown, he would have made it.

At length the repairman arrived. I ushered him inside and led him downstairs to the furnace. He took a look, then pointed to the front of the unit. “See those flashing lights there?”

Well, now that you mention it—

“Those are diagnostic lights. And when I’m king,” he said, popping off the front panel, “I’ll make it so every furnace will have these troubleshooting flowcharts on the outside of the panel in plain sight, so you won’t have to call guys like me all the time.”

And there, hidden on the inside of the panel, was a diagram that cracked the code displayed by the diagnostic lights. Who’da thunk—

The repairman was actually rather helpful, and intent on educating me in the interest of avoiding future unnecessary, expensive house calls. “All the modern furnaces have these charts, but it’s silly to put them on the inside where people don’t think to look. But as you can see here, this’ll tell you exactly what your problem is. Have you changed your air filter lately?”

I was floored, and not a little chagrined. “Really? You mean something like that—” I reached over and lifted out the dust-laden filter. Sure enough, the furnace kicked on all by itself, happily sucking unimpeded air from the intake duct.

“Yup. It’s a safety feature. A dirty air filter reduces the efficiency of the furnace, making it work harder.”

“I admit, an air filter is one of those things that’s easy to forget about. I haven’t given it much thought—”

The repairman held up the useless filter. “I’d say you haven’t given it any thought. Most people don’t. That’s why I advise folks to mark it down on their calendar, or let their monthly gas bill serve as a reminder to change filters. A little basic maintenance goes a long way. The trick is not to let things get out of hand in the first place. In other words, stop problems before they start. It’ll be cheaper, too, in the long run.”

He proceeded to check out the rest of the furnace to make sure everything was functioning properly, but, as was expected, there were no other issues that required attention.

Echoes of Barney Fife rang through my head:  “Nip it in the bud!”  I thanked him for coming out and tending to our furnace. If only there were another way besides the hard way to learn these things—

On Writing Longhand.

Writing longhand

Writing longhand is liberating ~

I like to write longhand. My preference is to use a fountain pen, but in many respects a fountain pen seems too lofty, too sacred, if you will, to be put to profane use. So, for mundane, everyday writing I utilize a pencil.

In an age where computers are ubiquitous and schoolchildren are scarcely taught cursive—the rationale being that typing is a more practical skill for the digital age and people won’t need to write by hand anymore—the notion of writing longhand seems quaint, if not heterodox. Why bother? What’s the point? Isn’t it a waste of time, especially if you’re planning on typing up a manuscript later?

Well, no, I don’t think so. There is so much that is lost when one neglects writing longhand.

Being able to write on paper is inherently liberating. You aren’t locked into a rigid array of pixels dictating that you must live in a rectilinear world. Writing on paper gives you the freedom to write left to right, right to left, up and down, down and up, backwards, diagonally, circularly, in between the lines, in the margins, wherever you desire and however you desire. You can overcome a bout of writer’s block by doodling in the middle of your opus, should you choose, rather than sit there and endure the insulting mockery of a blinking cursor. When you realize your writing is flat and clunky and wholly unacceptable, you can start over with a fresh piece of paper after first having derived satisfaction from marking the offensive tripe with a huge “X.”

The act of writing on paper is a sensory experience, involving four of the five senses. You can see the strokes forming letters and words as you manipulate your writing instrument, resulting in a page full of penmanship that, if not beautiful with well-formed letters, is at least uniquely yours. You can feel the texture of the paper, whether it be high-quality linen stationery or cheap recycled paper with 80% post-consumer content; you can feel the smooth wood of a Ticonderoga, the rubber grip of a Pentel mechanical, or the balanced weight of a Parker “51.” You can hear the scritch-scratch of your pencil or fountain pen as it leaves the marks of your thoughts on the paper. And you can smell the wood shavings of a newly-sharpened pencil, the rubber of a recently used Pink Pearl, or the ink of a freshly written note.

We admire those who have mastered the calligrapher’s brush. Beautiful writing bespeaks grace and elegance. Someone receiving a handwritten note or hand-lettered invitation recognizes the time and effort inherent in such communication, the writer having thus chosen to share a bit of his soul.

Writing with a computer, in contrast, lacks this intimacy. The computer is a mediator between you and your words, allowing you to see but not feel your words, imposing soulless uniformity through the use of standardized, ubiquitous fonts. There is no room for individuality, no room for variation, no room for deviation. With a computer, you cannot tell if the words were scribbled in haste, written in excitement, or penned with the deliberate movements of the very young or very old. You cannot tell if the person learned Gothic or Spencerian script, or wrote in Zaner-Bloser, the Palmer method, or D’Nealian.

With computers, a thousand monkeys may eventually be able to pound out Shakespeare, but limit these simians to a pen, and never would they be able produce so much as a simple sonnet. It is said that one of the chief differences between man and beast is the invention and use of tools. Perhaps with computers we have come full circle—it shall be the writing instrument that distinguishes the civilized from the uncivilized.

So celebrate your humanity, your individuality, your civility—pick up a pen and write!